Emotional Child Abuse***z-headeradsense.shtml***
I don't care for the term "emotional child abuse." It sounds like the distant also-ran to "physical" and "sexual"
child abuse but there is research suggesting that the scars created by emotional child abuse may be deeper and longer lasting
than the physical ones. ...those who are intent on wreaking
psychic havoc on another human being but afraid to leave evidence of their abusive ways. They are clever enough to carry
on their subterfuge while maintaining a facade of propriety in front of their friends and neighbors. Over the years it is stripped to a loincloth, scourged, presented with a crown of thorns and
crucified. What remains when the abuser is finished is a victim consumed by guilt and anger; self confidence and feelings
of worthiness have vanished. Bruises, cuts and broken bones eventually heal. One who has been abused
sexually or suffered neglect will, in most cases, surmount to some degree those cruelties and grow up to be a functional
adult with kids, a job and a mortgage they can't afford. But despite these appearances of normality there lurks something
sinister and debilitating in the deepest recesses of the abused child's psyche. When the physical damage has disappeared
the emotional carnage remains, affecting each decision and coloring every aspect of the victim's life. Here are some "souvenirs" the abused child may carry into adulthood.
And there are plenty more. The one legacy that accompanies all victims into adulthood is low self esteem, defined as feelings of "competence" and "worthiness". To feel unable to cope with the daily challenges of life or unworthy to savor the rewards of our efforts is like a brick wall between us and our happiness. We victims go through life knowing there is a bountiful table set and that we are invited to feast from it. But we reject the invitation for fear that we embarrass ourselves by displaying bad table manners or spilling soup on our shirts; we've learned the truth of self-fulfilling prophesies. |